My computer is in my living room right now- unhooked from it’s lifeline- I wasn’t aware the carpenters would be working in my dining room right away (I think it was because of the rain yesterday) & so am unprepared for being offline. I don’t even know yet how long I will be without the home computer & so am just going to write each day & transcribe it for the dates after we are back on line so as to fulfil my blog 365 commitment (it says you can do that right on the main page!)
So far our adventures include running out of water & them ripping my whole ceiling in my dining room out & finding a cache of beer cans & a largish snakeskin.
Further bulletins as events warrant.

A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. ~Peter De Vries

Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love. ~Mildred B. Vermont

Parenthood: That state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage. ~Marcelene Cox

It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.  ~Phyllis Diller

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. ~Franklin P. Jones

A father may turn his back on his child, brothers and sisters may become inveterate enemies, husbands may desert their wives, wives their husbands. But a mother’s love endures through all. ~Washington Irving
We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. ~Stacia Tauscher

The phrase “working mother” is redundant. ~Jane Sellman

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease. ~Lisa Alther

You are worried about seeing him spend his early years in doing nothing. What! Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play, and run around all day long? Never in his life will he be so busy again. ~Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Emile, 1762

He is a poor son whose sonship does not make him desire to serve all men’s mothers. ~Harry Emerson Fosdick

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories. ~John Wilmot

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller

Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said. ~Author Unknown

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable. ~Lane Olinghouse
When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it. ~Not Your Average Dictionary

Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed.  ~Robert Gallagher

She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along. ~Margaret Culkin Banning

Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. ~Robert Fulghum

Picture notes: Myself & my Mother November 1973 on my 5th birthday. Miss 18 & I June 1991. Miss 11 & I December 1996. Mr 8 & I August 2000.

1. What’s your favorite color ? Turquoise.

2. Who’s your favorite Beatle ? John

3. What’s your favorite cooking spice ? Garlic

4. What’s your favorite book ?  I could never narrow it down to 1

5. Favorite explorer ? Um- perhaps Christopher Columbus?

6. Favorite post it note size ? The 2 inch squares- anything smaller is too small- larger is usually a waste of space

7. Favorite Barbara Streisand movie ?  I’ve only seen Yentyl so I guess that would have to be it.

8. Favorite adjective ? Cool

9. Favorite car ? 1971 Mustang Fastback. (Mine would be green)

10. Favorite Rat Packer ? Uhhh- Can I name a Rat packer? Tony Bennet maybe?

11. Favorite Brat Packer ? Demi Moore- she’s overcome so much to get where she is.

12. Favorite Green Bay Packer ? Once again can I name one ? Nope I can’t.

13. Favorite City ? Boston!

14. Favorite song ? Like books I don’t think I could narrow it down to just one. Currently I’m listening to Filter’s Take A Picture & Eddie Vedder’s  Big Hard Sun every chance I get.

15. Favorite adhesive ? Super Glue

16. Favorite ex of Liz Taylor’s ?  The one who was so much younger than her.

17. Favorite Brady ? Alice- she was always so matter of fact about everything

18. Favorite Christmas Carol ?  God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.

19. Favorite animated monkey ? Where are my references- the kids aren’t here to give me a list of animated monkeys- wasn’t there a warner brothers cartoon with an ape grabbing Bugs Bunny? That one will do.

20. Favorite Writing Implement ? Papermate pens in blue- always- they’re slow to start but once the ink is flowing they’re very smooth.

21. Favorite soap ? I buy Oil of Olay bar soap but only use it to shave with- I use this body scrub called Sanctuary Mandelular which is awesome- the scent is out of this world!

22. Favorite vegetable ? Spinach- no broccoli- no potatoes- no green beans- no cucumbers. Well I love vegetables so I can’t really say

23. Favorite superhero ? Batman

24. Favorite Brian Dennehey movie ? Eh– Romeo + Juliet I guess.

25. Favorite prehistoric family ? The Rubbles.

26. Favorite TV Show ? Now or ever? Now would be Medium I guess - ever may very well be Jericho.

27. Favorite movie villain ?  Christopher Walken in most anything- but especially in At Close Range

28. Favorite candy ? It depends- for a couple of years it has been Skor bars- but just lately I’ve been on a Caramello kick & my kids can tell you I will never turn down Peppermint Patties.

29. Favorite movie ? Eye of The Beholder Or At Close Range (this has to be a tie)

30. Favorite berry ? Raspberries hands down.

31. Favorite breakfast cereal ? Apple Jacks or Froot Loops.

1. The chef had an extra secret ingredient; it was Garlic!
2. Rain comes in through my window (because it is broken).
3. Right now, I need large infusions of cash & patience- the builders come Monday to begin fixing my house where the tree fell.
4. DJ’s Drive-in is where I went Thursday night; it was busy & the food was good & greasy as always & also as always it was better than chain fast food.
5. Why does change hurt so much?
6. All I can think of is the chaos which is to be my life for an unknown amount of weeks while the house is repaired.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to getting through with the grocery shopping & coming home, tomorrow my plans include work- bleah! and Sunday, I want to get home from work & make sure everything is cleared out in the kitchen for the builders to come in & fix the roof supports!

Too gray to take many pictures today- I was gratified that I at least managed to get the laundry off the line before it started raining. I was up & around bright & early- feeling shocked & appalled at how messy the house was- I got the couch & chair covers straightened- had breakfast- picked up dirty laundry - 11 has this thing about getting dressed in the living room & leaving clothes all over the room- started a wash- washed the dishes I couldn’t do last night because it was 11 & 8’s shower night last night.

It was still only 9:15 & the co-foremen weren’t here yet. Not surprised- it always takes people longer to get here than they think it will- especially from Roanoke- the mountain is no joke & today - being so gray & cool I bet it was foggy- I got online - remembered I hadn’t checked the amount of my paycheck online last night -that was my excuse- when they showed up around 9:45 I went out side with them to discuss the different materials which they’ll need for the repairs. The guy who had called me went over the listings of things that have to be done.

Page by page- the dining room- the kitchen- the garage- 18’s room & 4 separate pages of roof repairs- one for the back- the front- the garage & the part of the roof which covers the front porch. Then they came inside & explained how- because of the broken joist in my kitchen they’re going to start there- rip 3 panels of ceiling out after moving my fridge & tacking up plastic in front of my sink & counters- they strongly suggested we move everything off the counters & said we will have to move everything off of the fridge etc.

They will do what they have to in the kitchen & then tack up plastic over the top while they do the roof- after they’re through with the roof- the gutters & all the other outside work they’ll do the garage-18’s room & the dining room then finish the kitchen. Yes this is going to SUCK!

However the end result should be excellent- including the whole new roof- after my mental debate last night about the shingles I ended up deciding today on bark brown just like I chose when the original guy brought me samples to choose from. Funny how they work in teams- the first guy came in looked it over - patted my hand- showed me shingles & measured the rooms. These guys were a lot more business oriented- making lists of the sheathing- shingles- ceiling spackle & paint that they will need for this endeavor.

They were nice enough- one - the older- rather dour one was from upstate New York- he reminded me of one of my uncles- didn’t say much & most of what he did say was rather negative- but he did comfort me because it dawned on me while they were on my roof determining something or other- that my internet dish is mounted on the roof & would have to come down. When I asked him about this he said it wouldn’t have to come down & described a process in which he could keep the dish in alignment & do the roof- I wish roofers who encounter the satellite dishes I troubleshoot would do what he said he does- because (if it works & I’m still a little doubtful) it would make a lot of my customers happier & save me a lot of arguing on the phone.

The other guy was younger & pretty outgoing- at first he seemed like a normal VA type guy- especially when he first got here & unloaded a mouthful of tobacco on my lawn. (Yech) but a couple of times in the first 15-20 minutes I caught that accent- the one I grew up with. Then in my kitchen he said something I believe it was the work ‘floor’ & it came out ‘flooah’ Sure enough - he’s from MA- Plymouth to be exact & so was quite familiar with where I actually grew up- armpit of the south shore- Rockland.

I was surprised & not exactly pleased when they said they’d be up first thing Monday morning- Monday? as in 4 days from now? And I’m supposed to clean off the top of the fridge- my countertops & stove- 18’s supposed to take everything off her walls? My garage is a pit from hell & I was going to do that this afternoon but now- well- uh oh. In thinking about it after they left I realized that they were going to have 18’s room pretty open air for at least a few days too. Which means either 18 & the BF were going to be sleeping on the living room floor or we needed to clean 11’s room too.

When I went to get 18 & broke the news to her she was less than thrilled- but felt if they brought their mattress into 11’s room & put it on top of hers & just took their actual bed apart to make room for the roofers/builders what ever you want to call them- that it would be ok. We went to the store & then on the way home I realized I’d forgotten to stop & get boxes to store stuff in- everything has to come off of 18’s walls too- So we went up to the Village Mart above our house & 18 went in to get boxes- they told her we’d need to go around back & get some because they were all out back there.

We were both grossed out at what we found there- a couple of cow carcasses. I was fascinated- 18 was horrified- especially when I took pictures- I said it always amazed me & she asked- as she was loading boxes into the car ‘what amazes you? Anatomy?’
I replied- no- how close we live to our food here- when I was a kid & I saw meat on a Styrofoam tray wrapped in plastic wrap at Stop & Shop it seemed to have nothing to do with the cows we saw on the rare occasions we went for ice cream - let alone cucumbers- tomatoes & lettuce’ She shrugged this off- we’re working on our 11th year here in VA- & of course- before that we lived in a country like setting in MA so I guess it’s not weird to her- but it still is to me.

We came home & went upstairs to 11’s room immediately much to the BF’s glee since he was home from work on account of the rain & online- since I went upstairs he didn’t have to get off the computer- 18 & I tackled 11’s mess of a room with 11’s help after she arrived home from school- until 3:40 when I had to take the two of them to the doctor’s office for shots- 11 will be entering 6th grade next year & needs some shots for that & they both got their final HPV shot. Which I’m glad is finished because I don’t have to hear any more about how much it hurts.

I pointed out to 18 when she was whining about as the doctor was preparing the shots - that it’s preferable to cervical cancer & she stupidly said ‘how would you know’ not thinking of the fact that I had it in 1988. The doctor walked back in during this diatribe of mine & took it as an open invitation to remind me that it’s been something like 3 years since my last pap smear & I need to come have one done. It’s not the pap smear I mind really- (not that it’s comfortable mind you- but at least I know I’m doing some thing good for myself) it’s the cost of the lab tests- last time I had it done it was $140. Just for the lab testing & they hounded me & harassed me- I paid them $10 a month until it was paid off & swore never again.

We got dinner out & brought it back to ‘the guys’ who stayed at home- after dinner 18-11 & I went back upstairs to finish 11’s room & it looks great now! While we were finishing up 8 came upstairs annoyed because a tv show wasn’t recording- it’s something we all like so 18 went to see why it wasn’t recording in her room & came back almost immediately to tell me to come quick- there was a tornado watch on our county!

It is amazing to see where you live marked in red for something like that- weak ass hurricanes is all we ever had in MA when I was growing up- really tornadoes are unusual here in the mountains though in the past 2-3 years there’s been at least one a year in the eastern parts of VA. We were definitely getting heavy thunder- lightning & rain - 8 came up & said there were small pieces of hail falling. We didn’t get any actual twisters but the wind did howl something fierce or awhile. (We never lost our satellite tv though & as far as I know 18’s BF didn’t have any trouble with the satellite internet either!)

While we were working on 11’s room 8 picked up his room & worked on the garage- 18’s BF gave him a hand on the garage a bit too. That just leaves the kitchen for me to tackle tomorrow - & of course I have 4 big baskets full of clean laundry to fold tonight- in order for the kitchen to be empty enough to rearrange tomorrow!

Grocery shopping tomorrow night - bleah- I’m getting quite tired of it- but there isn’t exactly any other way to get it done- maybe I’ll buy my meats locally though - they certainly are fresh!

So I went to work for overtime today- I could only get 3 hours in though- when I signed up the 1 pm to 2 pm block was already gone. When I asked my new supervisor (did I mention I changed ‘teams’ ? This group is in the building the same days I am - although they’re on a 8-430 5 days a week schedule.) about doing overtime she felt like she’d be able to sign me up for the full 4 hours for next week more easily than I could through the ‘overtime’ computer. I’m happy about that because although I don’t mind walking out the door at 1pm into bright sunshine if I’m going to drive 56+ roundtrip miles to work & back I want to be sure I have made enough money to cover the gas to do so easily.

Not a problem as far as my new supervisor is concerned. However- other things were not as wonderful on other work fronts- they’re opening the chat option that I’ve been doing for the last few months up to more people & because of that I have to interview for the position even though I already have it- it also may mean that I may have to change shifts yet again- if I pass the interview process it definitely means I’ll have to change desks again! I brought a bunch of my stuff home today in preparation for the moving around because I just changed desks Tuesday morning & decided I had entirely too much stuff at work.

The desk move has been good- I always feel disoriented after a desk move for about a week & it makes the days at work pass more quickly when I’m disoriented- I am not sure why that is but it is & I’m grateful for anything that helps to make the days pass quicker. Now that I’m with a supervisor every day again I’m sure I’ll have to behave myself better & not log out to pee so often (of course- when you’ve gotta go you’ve gotta go!)

When I was nearly ready to leave I snuck a peek at my cell phone & found I had 2 new messages- the first was the Doctor’s office reminding me that 11 & 18 have their final anti HPV shot tomorrow. And one from the ‘co-foreman’ of my construction site! When I called them back they scheduled an appointment to come do a site survey tomorrow morning ! I am so excited that it’s finally getting started & I get to meet the guys who are in charge of making my life a living Hell fixing the tree damage- the roof- the ceilings- the walls & the windows.

He- or they- more accurately- they- are coming tomorrow morning- as in as soon as they can get here from Roanoke- like 8:30 am! I’m not too thrilled about that part of it- but I am excited to be getting an idea of how much- how long- how many people etc. Are going to be involved in this - I was surprised that he said he was bringing shingle samples because I thought I had already chosen one- but I’m somewhat relieved that I get another choice- because I was so surprised last time that I don’t think I made the correct choice- of course being obsessive occasionally I realize that I’m likely to always think I made the wrong choice.

I’m also apprehensive about people being around on my roof & my kitchen- dining room & 18’s bedroom as much as they’re likely to be during this process. It certainly will be a challenge to deal with hammering- banging & the general chaos of repairs which will be with us for awhile. They’re supposed to re-paint my dining room & kitchen because of the ceiling replacement- I am going to have to insist on them matching the paint in the kitchen but I’m reconsidering my maroon plan for the dining room.

Someone was of the opinion that a pale butter yellow would go well in my dining room & as it has no windows to the outside- only 1 which looks into the garage & a door on each wall to the other rooms in the house I realize a light color really would be better than the dark color I had planned to paint it (I’ve had the paint under the benches which make up my seating for my dining room table for a couple of years now) I’ve painted in yellow before- we had at least 2 separate bathrooms while I was married to the ex which were yellow with bright sunflowers stenciled around the top of the room. If I have the contractors do yellow paint in my dining room I’d probably want to do the sunflowers.

I have issues with this though. I don’t think sunflowers are exactly apropriate in a dining room as I always think of a dining room as a formal room & sunflowers aren’t formal. However- nothing else about me or my house is formal in the least & of course my dining room is as informal as they come- after all- the computer is in here! On the flip side of that there is certainly a feeling of the need to have a room I like to be in since I spend an awful lot of time on the computer in here.

I have had my heart set on a dark red room with a fleur de lis stencil in gold (I have the paint & the stencil already- just waiting for me to get around to it) for years- ever since I read the first book I read by Judith Merkle Riley- The Oracle Glass- If you’re into the occult & don’t mind a book set in 17th century France it’s an excellent read & well worth the time to find it. (as are all her books- In my opinion) The protagonist in the book’s grandmother’s room was painted in this way & It just caught my imagination & I thought it would be an excellent way to paint a room. I’m not afraid of deep color in a room- my bedroom in the trailer was an excellent shade of blue. And in an apartment we had in Haverhill MA- The ex’s & my bedroom was a very dark purple (it looked lighter on the chip) That was the apartment that I tried to paint miss 18’s bedroom light blue & it came out looking more like the inside of a pool!

Another drawback to the maroon walls is I have never been able to decide what color the trim should be 18 says black but I think that would make it too oriental looking. White on the other hand would be crisp but maybe a little more country than French. I know the woodwork couldn’t stay the natural brown it is right now though & I don’t care at all for the white-cream-gray paneling which is here now. I don’t mind the paneling exactly only the fact that it shows everything & is marked- chipped & dirty. Yes I have cleaned it from time to time but with my kids- it gets dirty again so quickly!

So I’ve digressed again- not that anyone cares but the rest of my day consisted of picking up 18 from school- listening to her fuss about the school secretary (again) going to the Harvest Moon for Garlic & dealing with the post office issue. I’ve had a P.O. Box since we moved into this house- partly as a way to have an address to give to the ex so he wouldn’t have our home address- that point is moot now- he has been here multiple times & definitely knows where we live. The other reason was to have a safe secure place to have bills etc mailed to - since our mailbox doesn’t stay closed & the mail sits out there for hours on end most days- but credit companies insist you have your physical address on everything so it was a useless plan.

I decided that when the post office box was up for renewal we wouldn’t renew. So I had to go in & take care of getting the mail forwarded to the house. We ran a few more errands & came home where I made my chicken with garlic & red wine vinegar sauce for dinner with 11’s help. Laundry was attempted- the water is very low this week so it is with mixed emotions that I hear that we’re supposed to have scattered showers for the next 4 or 5 days. Because while I need water in the well to continue to wash clothes - I’d also like to get the wet clean clothes dry- the wind is whipping up as I type & the laundry on the line has only been there about 2 & 1/2 hours & so is nowhere near dry yet- it’s going to get a whole lot wetter before it does dry- it looks like now!

1. How many cell phones have you had? How long have you had your current cell phone number?
I have had 4 physical cell phones- all with the same provider & the same phone number- I got my first cell phone & the number I have now at the end of may 2005 - so nearly 3 years.

2. Where was the last place you had sex?
When would be the most interesting question- a depressingly long time ago. Where was at a ‘friend with benefits’ own personal dungeon. Other than sex but fairly fulfilling was about 4 to 6 weeks ago in a ‘friend’s’ car.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with your love life? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest)
Not too good- especially this week-let’s say a 3.

4. Does Bliss sound like a fun game to you? Have you ever played it?
I couldn’t get enough info out of the link to say- I haven’t played it but I’m usually up for anything.
5. Is there anything or anyone you would be willing to die for?
Just my kids.

Bonus (as in optional): If you were (or had) a magic genie and could only grant wishes for others and you only had three left, what would they be and who would they be for?
1. My mother- that she would have all the money she needs to be comfortable & be able to enjoy her last years (She’s 70 you know) I’d want her to have enough for that trip to Russia she’s always wanted to take of course.
2. College educations & enough money for a good start in whatever all 3 of my kids chose to do with their lives.
3. Whatever it is that the ex & quite a few other people I know- who are never- ever happy- no matter what- need to be happy in their lives.  (my ex once told me - before we were married- should have been a clue- that he didn’t think he even knew what true happiness felt like)

1 lb or more skinless boneless chiken- cut into bite size pieces we use thighs because that’s what we like- but it is just as good with chicken breast meat if that’s what you like.

4 or 5 cloves of garlic peeled & sliced or chopped- remember the smaller the chopping of the garlic the sharper & stronger the flavor- I go with a medium size chop. More garlic is ok- I use more than what I put there because we like it.

1T butter- you can use margarine if you must.

1 bottle red wine vinegar- we use the walmart brand which has garlic in it too- for even more flavor

1 teaspoon chicken bullion or 1 cube of it if that’s what you have

1/2 t salt- 1/4 t pepper- 1/2 t onion powder once again- all to taste & I use more of all of these

2 cans stewed diced tomatoes- not drained.

1/2 cup water.

melt butter & saute garlic in the melted butter after garlic has infused butter & is becoming slightly golden brown add chopped chicken pieces & cook until cooked through - add salt- pepper & onion powder during the chicken cooking process. Once chicken is cooked through add red wine vinegar- chicken bullion & water. Simmer to reduce a little & add the stewed tomatoes & juice from the cans. Simmer until you’re ready to serve- better when cooked for an hour or so but just fine after at least 5 minutes of simmering- cook pasta- I always serve this over angel hair pasta but any pasta will do. serve with parmesan cheese.

Once in awhile- when I have cause to do so- I look back on the 9 years I was with my ex husband & it looks like a life someone else lived- not me- It couldn’t have been me who watched him drink with friends- Family & Co-workers every weekend.

Who moved into a ramshackle 30 year old trailer & who painted the living room one night while he was at work because I just couldn’t take that pepto-bismol pink any longer- who watched him knock down the walls for the third bedroom in the trailer so that the kids had a playroom which was the second half of the living room.

Who baked bread all the time because it filled empty bellies & made up for the numerous meatless meals we had because we were broke due to him quitting yet another job. WHo stayed home & watched kids- did dishes & went stir crazy while he worked or didn’t work & did as he pleased- who let him take care of the finances & what we would & wouldn’t pay each time there was money to be spent.

I have had more phone #s than anyone I know (except- maybe Chrissie) I’ve moved because the ex was bored- frustrated- or didn’t want to deal with someone or something more times than I can count. Something I’m not proud of but I did what I had to in order for my kids & my family unit to survive.

I was amazed after he moved out- at how much smoother things were when I did it for myself- ‘it’ being going to work & earning the money myself & deciding - because I earned it- how it was spent. Even when I was first going back to work & making $5.40 an hour at a nursing home things were better financially then they were when he was making $9 or $10 an hour because I went to work every day I was scheduled & none of my money went for beer or a night at a bar while the rest of the family was sitting around waiting for him to  come home.

The ex was of the opinion that he didn’t need to pay child support for quite a few years after we separated & then divorced- what he told others (though he lacked the testicular fortitude to actually say this to my face) was that since I was home with the kids for much of our lives together while he was out ‘earning our living’ I owed him & ’should’ support the kids on my own.

So the point is- I was unsurprised when I got a call on my cell phone while at work on Saturday afternoon from the ex. I texted him immediately because I can’t answer the phone while I’m at work unless I’m in the bathroom or the breakroom- I told him to text me but he didn’t.

An hour later I was also unsurprised when 18 text-ed me to let me know he & the family had shown up at our house- & again a little while later while I was picking up milk & a few other things on my way home I was amused but not surprised when 18 text-ed to say that the ex was there to let us know that he- the GF- (pregnant if you’ll remember from my last diatribe)  her daughter & his son were all moving to Oregon.

I was surprised however- when I arrived home to find that they were moving to OR right that minute - lock- stock & barrel. As soon as I turned down my road & saw his truck with a u-haul trailer & their car behind it parked in my yard I started laughing.  I did calm myself before getting out of the car & actually facing him- he’s still got really good radar for when I’m laughing at his expense so I had to get mentally prepared before facing him!

I was also amused & a little surprised later on when the GF’s daughter mentioned something about Milwaukee WI is not on the way to OR & so I’m wondering if there was a little misdirection going on as to where they were really going. Also- since he had his son with him & I don’t think his divorce is final I wonder if his soon to be ex is aware that they were leaving.

I don’t really care where they’re going- as long as they’re gone & not in my back yard- as long as they stay gone & don’t take my kids with them. Of course- knowing my ex like a bad penny he’ll turn up yet again- I wonder if he’ll do any better about being a dad to the GF’s baby than he’s done with 11 & 8. He’s a cruel dad to his little guy from the second  marriage - though he’s at that stubborn 3 year old stage which can be frustrating I realize- & having both 11 & 8’s attitudes to contend with when they were 3 I realize that it’s no picnic.

I am pretty psyched that he’s gone again though- much easier on my own- less worries about him just showing up unexpectedly- less worries about his judgmental pronouncements from a distance. More worries about him pressuring for visitation for being allowed to take them to OR for weeks or months at a time. With full custody in my name he’d have to go to court to change it & now that he’s not 3 hours away- that would be cumbersome. (thank goodness)

I know why OR - the GF is from there- as for why now- I have my opinions- among others he says he is out of the service- but it seems like it was awfully quick- one week he’s in & the next one he’s just out & through with it? He’s pulled the AWOL thing before (right after 9/11 as a matter of fact- that thanksgiving both his mother & I received letters weekly from his C.O. asking that if he came ‘home’ for the holiday that we call them) Or as I speculated before- is he being up front about his little boy? Does his new ex know where they are?

I keep having these great ideas for posts & then I forget what they were by the time the page loads- I don’t even want to get into all the posts I’ve ‘written’ in my head on the drive to & from work- only to have them disappear before I could get to the computer-sit down & write.

I guess that’s what the voice memo recorder on my MP3 player might be useful for. But I’d feel like the FBI agent in Twin Peaks if I drove around talking into my MP3 player. Someone told me some tv channel was showing Twin Peaks again. I have mixed emotions as to whether I’d want to watch it over again or not. At the time it was fascinating- I was into it- my parents were into it- we discussed it often. I’m not sure- since I know the story & what happens now- whether it would hold the same allure in a second viewing- especially the weirder aspects of it.

With the warmer weather bug season comes in. As soon as we got home the other day 18 opened the back door to try to get some of the warmer air outside into the house- with the warmer air came the flies- I hate flies. We don’t have a storm or screen door on the back door- it didn’t make it through our first winter here in VA- an ice storm broke it- the back door faces West & the weather comes at it all day long- The ice built up on the door & ripped it off the hinges.

I know I could buy a lightweight simple screen door for the back door for about $30. which isn’t much. However I know theres too much expanse of screen in a door like that for it to last long with 8- 11 & the cats all in & out & climbing on it all day every day. So I would have to consider it a one summer solution. I hate the idea of a $30. screen door as disposable. The other option & the one I should take- is to buy a decent screen/storm door. I could probably get an ok one for about $130. Which means either spending some of the Stimulus money for one or coming up with another way of getting that much spare money together.

The stimulus money is the vacation fund this year so I’m loathe to spend it- I plan on not spending any of it at all (except to pay the deductible on the insurance repairs- I’ve got most of that money already- it’s just a matter of using a little stimulus money to fill in) So getting a real storm/screen door is not an optimal idea. Then there’s the fact that I don’t think I can get a door in my car- especially not with the kids along for the ride- which means asking the ex since he’s the only one I know with a truck- to help out. We can’t have that. I’m not willing to ask the ex for the time of day just lately.

Not since the shoe episode. You see- a few weeks ago when the kids went to their Grandma’s to visit with the ex overnight he took them out to C’Burg & bought them shoes- I had just purchased sneakers for 8 a few weeks before this but in 8’s inimitable style he was wearing an old pair of work boots which were 11’s & Chrissea’s daughters before they were his & were ripped & too big so ‘dad’ decided he needed a smaller pair which would fit.

11’s sneakers were about 5 months old & rather dirty - especially- she confessed to me later- after his GF’s daughter & she went messing around near Grandma’s pond- so ‘dad’ got her a pair of sneakers. 11 explained to me as soon as I arrived home the next night that dad said he was ”gonna kill your mother ’cause she buys you shoes that are too big for you” & bought her a pair of size 7 sneakers. The sneakers she had were size 8s. Which- when I took her to get them- she said fit well & she liked.

So a week after the visit from saint dad I noticed 11 wearing her old sneakers & I asked why- well it turns out those size 7 sneakers which dad said would fit don’t fit- hurt her feet & she doesn’t like them. It figures- when questioned a little more in depth I found that 11 has 2 different size feet & that the smaller one is fine in a 7 but the larger one doesn’t like it & is very uncomfortable in the size 7 sneakers. Game- Set & Match.

I have big feet- 18 has big feet- my mother’s & grandmother’s feet were not small either. I am unsurprised that 11 is comfortable in a size 8 shoe at 11years & 11 months of age. The ex always despaired of my feet (among other things - many other things- my clumsiness- my sensitivity- my dislike of tv & sports especially- I did learn to like hockey for him though- something that survived after our divorce) I’m sure my large feet are a contributing factor to my dislike of high heeled shoes (the clumsiness adds to that one too)

My Grandmother always said my feet were large & wider than normal because I went barefoot all the time- something about unconfined feet spreading out- I’m not sure I believe that one but it certainly would explain a lot!

Neuroticism	63
Extraversion	15
Openness to Experience	61
Agreeableness	26
Conscientiousness	18

You are a calm person who is considered almost fearless by some, however you are sensitive about what others think of you. Your concern about rejection and ridicule cause you to feel shy and uncomfortable around others. You are easily embarrassed and often feel ashamed. Your fears that others will criticize or make fun of you are exaggerated and unrealistic, but your awkwardness and discomfort may make these fears a self-fulfilling prophecy. You tend not to talk much and prefer to let others control the activities of groups. You prefer dealing with either people or things rather than ideas. You regard intellectual exercises as a waste of your time. You do not like to claim that you are better than other people, and generally shy from talking yourself up, however you believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. You are guarded in new relationships and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth about yourself. You have a reasonable amount of will-power and are able to follow through on tasks that you feel you need to complete. You can be distracted however and have been known to procrastinate.

This was a pretty good test- depressingly accurate so to speak. If you try it- let me know what you thought of it in the comments.

1. Two of my favorite ingredients in a drink are Peach Schnapps & well- just about anything!
2. how dirty my son can get just going outside to play often amazes me.
3. You can keep doing that forever, the dog is crazy about it.
4. sausage - hamburger - bread crumbs & spices, mix it all together and voila! You have meatballs for dinner with spaghetti!.
5. If I had a yard with a garden, I would love to grow I do grow tomatoes- cucumbers- green beans- peas-summer squash & poorly done watermelons.
6. chocolate is best au naturel.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to the yummy meatballs that 18 is making (she’s bribing me to get her at school with the offer to do the cooking), tomorrow my plans include work of course- and Sunday, I want to rest & relax but will be at work- (what was I thinking when I agreed to work both weekend days?!)

Dear Mr or Ms. U.S.Amy

Please stop calling my cell phone- I realize you just took the High School’s records for students of a certain age & use the main contact number to call them all & try to recruit them for your war machine opportunities but my daughter has told you three or four times now that she’s not interested.

That should be enough- but no- you keep calling- my daughter tells me how they actually let you people come in & waste class time on your recruiting spiels & how hard you people push. I especially don’t appreciate how- when I didn’t answer my phone yesterday because I was driving & I could see that it was an 800 number calling so knew it wasn’t important - you left a message for miss 18 saying you understood she had an interest in joining up.

I heard this yesterday on my voicemail while sitting outside the High School while I was waiting for her to come out- and a sliver of ice went through my heart. Watching her walk out of the school as if demons were following her. With her green tipped hair- her nose ring & her ’snake bites’ lip piercings I couldn’t help but think The Amy would be getting more than they bargained for with her. Especially since she got in the car & immediately began railing against the machine.

The school secretary has been marking her tardy because she has left her third period class early because either I or her BF were waiting to pick her up outside. I asked if they had resolved it- the teacher of the third period class has done so. I asked if the secretary got in trouble over it & her reply was: ‘No- cause she’s a stupid- bimbo-y Trophy wife of someone important & so they pat her hand & tell her to do better next time’ She couldn’t tell me who the important person was though- I don’t think I want to know.

The Amy wants her? She who responds with ‘F- that’ to almost everything I suggest she consider doing with her life? She who acts as if she already knows it all- even when I call & tell her to take something out for dinner- she already knows- (except that I hear later from her 11 year old sister later that they had pancakes for dinner ’cause 18 for got to take anything out to defrost) They want this art student who’s sketched out her best friends’ matching fairy tattoos? Who is drawing this lovely cover for her physics notebook even though she has 23 days left in the High School Machine?

She who has nothing but contempt for the government- the Amy & her step-dad- who’s Drill Sargent type parenting style has left her permanently unable to listen or be nice to anyone who yells at all- who has heard & seen this same step-dad’s change & difficulties since he came back from Iraq last year- who’s been told by him directly- ‘don’t listen to the Amy people - they’ll sell you a bill of goods & come back & say they never said a word of it.’

They called again today & I answered the phone to remind them that 18 has told them she doesnt want anything to do with them & that we have asked repeatedly that they not call us anymore. I- as I’m sure anyone who’s read this blog before knows- work in a call center- there are rules about calling people when they’ve asked not to be called- there are also rules about not speaking over or interrupting the ‘customer’ & if the Amy is calling me- I’m their customer at least for the moment- I had one of them quite rudely tell me once that I couldn’t say no for 18- that they had to speak to her.

This one today didn’t say anything like that - though she did interrupt me 3 separate times & Apparently the do not call laws are not applicable to the U.SAmy. they said it would be at least 5-10 weeks before they would be able to stop the calls- so I gave them 18’s cell phone # & asked them to call her direct instead- I bet she’ll have a tag on her ‘account’ within a matter of days- she can be so rude when she wants to be.

The day has certainly flown - I was woken up by my phone this morning just before 9 am- someone calling from an 800# but because of the new phone- I didn’t know that- you see I use ring tones to tell me who’s calling & I’d only picked out one on the new phone- I’m a little obsessive about music & so had decided though I’d already spent the money to get 6 ring tones & had already made a big wish list- that I wasn’t going to just pick & choose them at whim but instead make ’serious decisions’ about what songs to choose- I sat down & made a list of the tones I’d used on my past 3 phones (2 LG 6100’s of which 18 has the second in use still & the first Kyocera slider which lost all audio & voice functions- I could text just fine but if I called anyone I couldn’t hear them & they couldn’t hear me)

Only the one 18 has is available to me to see what songs are on it so I spent a few days trying to remember & write down the ring tones I’d had before (I said I was obsessive about it!) Twice I’ve had Bittersweet Symphony by the Verve- Twice I’ve had What I got by Sublime- other than that I’ve had no repeats- I had forgotten that I had Under Pressure by Queen & David Bowie on the Phone that is 18’s now & that I had Wish You were Here by Incubus on my first phone- it came to me this morning- some songs I’ve chosen in the heat of a moment & been sorry afterwards- Photograph by Nickelback is one I’d never choose again & so is The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars. I’m heartily sick & tired of them both.

So this morning because I was irritated at actually picking up the phone to see that it was no one I wanted to talk to I settled in to decide on ringtones- I did duplicate a few-
♥What I got by Sublime is one of my all time favorite songs & it makes me happy so I chose that one for friends.
♥Keep Away by Godsmack- while it’s one of my favorite songs is also perfect for businesses I’d rather not hear from- like the loan company that my second mortgage is through- they are pushy about calling & trying to convince me to take other services etc- they just don’t take no for an answer.
♥ Under pressure by Queen & David Bowie- I decided to get that one again because it’s such a cool song & it’s good for the doctors office- the construction company who is supposed to be working on my roof & the other tree damage.
♥Hate Me by Blue October- another one of my favorites- though it makes me think of my ex- so he & everyone associated with him for good or bad - like his mom- who I like just fine- gets that one.
Remedy by the Black Crows- I just like this song- so I’m using it for family in general.
♥Life is beautiful- I like to know when it is 18 or her BF on the phone so the two of them get their very own ringtone- because I hear from 18 more than anyone else it has to be something I like- she’s been Clocks by Coldplay & I Miss You by Blink 182 most recently- but I didn’t want to hear Miss You anymore because I love that song & I don’t always want to associate it with 18.

Yeah. Obsessed with music– I told you- ring tones- music on my MP3 player-none on the phone still though- something is still wrong about the MP3 player on the phone- same chip- second phone & the phone still reboots when I try to use the MP3 function- of course that tells me that it’s probably a compatibility issue on the chip itself- they said nothing larger than 512MB (which I’m told- is pretty darn small anyway) & so I got a 512MB chip & it still reboots. Probably it’s more like it’s got to be even smaller than 512MB.

I was ok with the fact that 18 text messaged me to ask me to come get her (as normal- I was expecting it) But then when I went & got her at 1pm- she mentioned her friend Av was coming over- Av lives on the other side of the county & goes right by the High School on his way to our house so why did she make me come get her??

She thinks I’m wrong to be irked- with gas at $3.49 a gallon around here (yes- I know it’s higher in many other places) & a 22 mile round trip to town- well I am irked! And I didn’t even get to wash my car because the dollar changer at the laundromat wasn’t working & neither 18 or I wanted to go deal with the guy at the auto parts store to get change (that’s the place where they broke the sparkplug off in the P.T. Cruiser’s engine) I don’t frequent the place at all anymore but their car wash is about the only one in town.

I told her I won’t come get her tomorrow because I’m not happy or comfortable with the idea of being expected to drive 22 miles every day I’m home just because she’s too fidgety to sit through a study hall! She was displeased to say the least & embarrassed me in the local store where we stopped to get gas- especially since a sort of co-worker was in there (we work in the same building- not in the same area though & have a nodding acquaintance)

Ah well there are worse things- The rest of the day has been quite nice actually- 11 came home from school while I was still reading blogs- an hour later we had to go get 8 at school where he is still in remediation. 11’s was canceled today due to the teacher having something else to do- we went to the store & the post office & came home to get the chicken ready to go in the oven. Probably the last chicken roast I’ll do before September- the oven heats up the house too much in summer & I try to cook stove top meals only during the warm part of the year.

It wasn’t all that warm today- about 60- but after 5 days of off & on rain it felt warm! The kids had left laundry on the line during the rain- I asked them to get it off the line Friday while I was making dinner but the didn’t & it was raining by the time I had time to go get it myself- an extra rinse is how I look at that- all except about 5 things which were in the center of the front line which hung low enough that the rain had kicked up mud onto them- they’ll have to be re-washed- sigh.

Once the chicken was in the oven I took myself out to the hammock to practice my favorite 3 r’s- rest-read & relax. That wasn’t to be though- No sooner than I’d sat down & swung my feet up onto the hammock- I found that it was way too sunny- the way the hammock is hung this year you can’t sit in it comfortably the other way so I tucked my book under me & decided to take a little snooze in the sun- I had about 2 minutes of rest & then mr 8 bowled into the hammock with ms 11 not far behind.

They got into the hammock with me & we swung & talked for awhile- discussing our plans for vacation this year- it will just be the two of them & me- I have been making lists while at work & discussed some of my ideas with them. Mr 8 is all for another aquarium visit- I was thinking the science museum because they’re going to be a little too old awfully soon & even the most jaded-cool-grouchy teenager can’t resist the aquarium - so I’ll save it for when they’re older & snarly.

Finally the sun went down enough that I could read & the kids - as kids will- lost interest in swinging with me & left me to read- about 30 minutes later the sun had gone down enough that I got cold (I did mention that it only got to about 60 today didn’t I?) So I came in & waited around with the kids for dinner - as usual- the dishes are still waiting for me. 18 wanted a shower tonight so I held off on doing them- especially since I’d already done a load of laundry earlier today.

Our water flow is a little better just today- probably because of the nearly 5 days of intermittent rain we had. The week before we were hard put to do dishes and have just 1 person take a shower in the same day- terrible you say- well yes- but 18 doesn’t always cook- sometimes they just have frozen pizzas or other frozen meals & at least one of those nights I was home & we went out to eat- so holding off on dishes for a day is not the hardship it might be if we were making 5 course meals.

I was reflecting that though I’m going to miss 18 & the BF when they move this summer that cutting the household from 5 to 3 will maybe give the well some time to catch up & fill so that we’re not always running it dry & having to wait for it to build up overnight before anyone can shower - especially if someone’s visiting who we’re embarrassed to explain the ‘if it’s yellow let it mellow- if it’s brown flush it down’ system of toilet flushing we’ve been on for about the last year.

Of course- you notice I say I’m hoping to have the well catch up & fill. I don’t really expect that it will stay that way forever- I realize that when you’re dealing with young adults like 18 & the BF that you have to adopt a revolving door policy when it comes to moving out & moving back in. My only hope is that by the time they have to move back in I will have the garage walled & the wall I want to build out there to make a room in 2/3 of the garage finished so they can move in there & I can have 11 & 8 upstairs & not have to rearrange rooms.

I’m dedicated to having 8’s room become a spare room & hope to find a way to get a daybed-couch type thing for the room along with another tv & satellite receiver for the room- also more space for bookshelves if that room becomes a family room type room!

Had pictures of us in the hammock to post but WordPress is being glitchy I’ll try to put them up tomorrow.

1. Early bird or night owl? Night Owl All the way.
2. Where was the first place you ever had sex? The Front seat of a 1979 Plymouth
3. On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest) 8 & ½
4. Are you more submissive or dominant? Submissive- though with current events as they are in my life- I may just become dominant- I feel like I need a whip.
5. Do you believe in love at first sight? Not really but lust can be blind.

Bonus (as in optional): Describe your bed time habits.

What side do you sleep on?

I start on my right side because early in the morning I have to turn to my left to put my good ear in the pillow so I am not awakened by kids fighting before school.

What do you usually wear?

I made a promise to my ex- when our son was born that I would start wearing nightgowns- (I was really dedicated to sleeping in the buff before that- Though I can understand his opinion that it’s unnecessary for a kid to see their parent naked even accidentally I don’t exactly share it.) I have kept the promise even though we divorced- mostly because we don’t need anything more to fight about! So Nightgowns- usually long flowy & often stained because I’m just a sloppy type of person & accidents will happen.

Any night time rituals?

Not other than brushing my teeth & washing my face- sometimes I read a little before bed but usually I just pass out- especially if I have to go to work the next morning.