Is there anybody…..out there?

Wow! It has been quite awhile since I’ve been here, all the pingbacks to the year in review meme from 2007 sort of drew me in. I’m considering doing that meme again, but so many things have changed, I’m not sure it would make much sense.
I still have my house, due to cutbacks @ my work we’ve gone from mandatory overtime to them asking us to come in late, leave early & take long lunches. Financially this is not a good thing at all. Which is why I say still have my house, it’s been touch & go the last 2-3 years, which is one of the reasons I haven’t written much, since I believe in the “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” style of blogging.

My oldest, Lois, now that she’s a) over 18 & b) doesn’t live with us anymore, is living in her boyfriend’s grandfather’s home, (the grandfather died 18 months ago & wanted his grandson & Lois to have the house, it took over a year to get the BF’s family to all agree they could live there. They moved in this November & received a kitten from me & a puppy from a friend of hers. The house is a beautiful Virginia farmhouse, big cedar trees all around the house & lots of land which is also shared by other members of the BF’s family, their houses are distant from the big house, but at night they can see the other houses lights. After working at the local nursing home & the local grocery store she is now working at my company taking calls from “people who are way too involved with their TVs” as our family doctor calls what I do for a living.

18 months ago the ex asked to have the 2 younger kids come visit him for a month during the summer. I reluctantly agreed, at the end of the month, my middle daughter (now 15) decided she wanted to stay in Oregon with her dad & step mom. I wasn’t ecstatic about this, but at 14 (which is how old she was at the time) she really has the option through the courts to choose who she lives with. So I didn’t feel like I could say no. She’s still there now & seems to enjoy it up there.

My youngest, Mr 12 now, is still with me, basically he has both upstairs rooms & actually hasn’t even moved all of his stuff out of his downstairs bedroom (after nearly 3 months of having Lois’ old bedroom upstairs) I want him to move his stuff out of the downstairs room so I can make it a guest room/craft room, not that I have much of anything to go in the room yet, but I’m hoping to find some stuff for it soon.

I’ve been very frustrated with work, though my job title equates to level 4 advanced technical support & I can’t complain at all about my hourly wage, my group as a whole has the worst schedule options in the building. No options for the whole weekend off (really not that important to me, but I wouldn’t mind having just 1 day of the weekend off) no options any longer to work 4 ten hour days, which is my favorite type of schedule (54 miles a day round trip to go to work & come home, working 4 days can be much cheaper) the people who come in the door knowing nothing get options for schedules which I would kill for! This makes me rather crazy.

Although considering what else has been going on in my life, I’m not too valuable to the company. In November Mr 12 & I both got a cold. He kicked it in 5 or 6 days, I just kept getting sicker & sicker. After 3 weeks, in which I got sicker & sicker, going from walking 100+ yards from the parking lot to my desk at work without thinking about it in the least to being unable to walk more than 5-7 feet without having to stop & get my breath back, I went to the doctors. She decided I had pneumonia & found I was seriously anemic. (Caused by the lengthy & heavy periods I’ve had for the past 3+ years very likely, we had dealt with this issue somewhat back in November when she prescribed birth contol pills as I could not afford the surgical options available to me) so she gave me a b-12 shot, antibiotics, an inhaler with albuterol in it & some free iron pills to help with the anemia.
So all was ok, although I was still too sick to work, for the next 5 days. Then when I went to use the bathroom before bed on Sunday night 12/18, I passed out in the bathroom. I passed out 4 more times just getting back to the living room. I was able to yell loudly enough to wake up Mr 12 & he helped me back to the chair I usually sit in, in the living room. I slept in the chair that night & Mr 12 slept on the couch. The next day I called Lois on her break at work & I told her what was going on, she left work, I called the doctor’s office & told them what had been going on, they insisted I needed to call the rescue squad & have them take me to the hospital. With serious convincing from Lois, I did so & then spent 15 days in the hospital. They admitted me due to the anemia, dehydratio@n, the rapid heart beat & inability to breathe if I tried to walk or, at that point, even stand.
They quickly found that it wasn’t pneumonia, I had blood clots in both my legs & my lungs. This is something which can happen when you take the pill & smoke but I don’t smoke & never have. They put a screen in me to keep more clots from moving up into my lungs, then decided to do auterine oblation, which should put a stop to my heavy periods for awhile, maybe as much as 5 years, which, hopefully will take me to menopause.
When they tried to wake me up after the surgery I was unable to breathe on my own. They put a breathing tube in & airlifted me to the bigger hospital down in Roanoke. I was in the ICU for 6 days, of which, I only remember the last day. 5 days, from the time I went under for the surgery on 12/21 to the day after Christmas I don’t remember a thing.
Weirder still, Lois tells me that I kept trying to pull the breathing tube out & when I did accept it & Lois was there, I was communicating with her through the sign language alphabet. Lois says I was making sense, asking for Mr 12, asking if she was out of work on her own say so or if work let her go as a money saving thing. However, I don’t remember that at all! I spent a little more than a week in the general hospital getting strength back & walking again. Although I was out for awhile, I surprised the nurses & the physical therapy people because although I was a little wobbly at first I didn’t need any actual therapy to walk, I just started with like 2 steps between the bed & chair & built up each day until the last 3 days I was “allowed” to go to the bathroom without someone in the room.

So Christmas was a complete non event for me this year. Mr 12 stayed with Lois & her BF, they had xmas with his family. When they released me from the hospital I stayed at Lois’ house for the first 4 days & then, on Sunday, after we had our own little Christmas (2 weeks late) complete with full turkey dinner we’d purchased the food for 3 days before I went into the hospital. Mr 12 & I came home, after 5 more days of rest & a follow up doctors visit (I actually have to go to the doctor’s every week for now because they put me on coumadin which can cause heavy bleeding) I’m back at work 4 hours a day this week, building up by 2 hours per week back to 8 hours. Financially this has been devastating. Missing all that work & also the hospital bills are already horrendous, I haven’t even received a bill from the Roanoke hospital yet. They did give me a break with their charity plan, the plan I qualified for makes me responsible for 55% of the bills, up to 20% of my annual income. Still lots more money than I have lying around!
I know I came close to dying & I’m lucky to be alive, as many of the nurses & Lois kept telling me. I am glad I can breathe & walk at the same time now, but it’s still an out of the frying pan into the fire situation on the financial side of things!


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