Of All The Things I….

…. Hate– I hate football the most.

I used to tolerate it- when I was a 8-9 & slightly older kid- I liked going to Harvard Football games with my Grandmother – who was a huge college football fan – especially for Harvard (because her cousin went there & was captain of the football team in 1949) I liked going because it was fun to go with her & see my normally staid sedate grandmother yell- scream & pound her fist on the cement wall in front of her season ticket- seats.

When I was an older child- still a teenager- it was fun because of that great love of all teenage girls everywhere- college guys- I saw a lot of really interesting things over the years & even more exciting was when my favorite cousin J would come with her parents (also season ticket holders) & we would be allowed to walk around alone & talk.

I admit- none of my focus was on football. My Grandmother gave me a few quick cursory instructions in the general rules of the game back when I first went with her (I believe I was 8- got to ride the bus to Boston alone on Saturday morning for the first time that day too! I can’t imagine letting one of my kids ride a bus anywhere in MA without me there too- even ms 19!)

I didn’t really understand the game then & I have cultivated an aura of  not understanding ever since I don’t know a down from a penalty or what any of those arcane signals the referees give on the field (even after long hours studying the cartoon John Harvard demonstrating them in the program which my grandmother bought Every. Single. Week- crates of them were disposed of when my home was sold by my grandmother in 1991)

My dislike of football deepened when I was emotionally involved with ms 19’s dad. He was a sports nut (mostly due to his drinking – if there was a game there was a ‘party’ at least in his head) And it didn’t matter who was playing or what the sport was- he was there. So when I began to consider dating again after ms 19 passed her second birthday my first priority was ‘not a sports fan’

The Ex was not a sports fan- or so he claimed- except for hockey he said he didn’t care about any sports & I found after some prolonged exposure to hockey that I could follow it- I could get a lot of embroidering done while I followed it with him & I could definitely get behind him playing- I love hot cocoa & we’d always stay & take ms 19 skating during free skate after the games he played in.

This was up to about 1993-1994. Then the Patriots started getting good at what they do. And all of a sudden I was married to a football fan. He wasn’t a football fan he tried to tell me – he was a Patriots fan.  He was immune to my grandmother’s comments about fair weather friends & that the NFL was corrupt & true football fans watch college football. (all of this rolled off me like water off a duck’s ass-I didn’t care if it was ‘pure’ football- ‘corrupt’ football or European football- I didn’t want to watch it.)

I also found over time that there were some slight benefits to football- to get me to sit & watch the Superbowl many years in a row my ex plied me with lobster- steamers & other delicacies we would have friends in & party a little while the game was on & for a few years I would at least pay attention to the commercials.

The year the ex left- I was quite pleased to be oblivious to all sports especially football & unaware of the Superbowl except peripherally when the neighbors were excited their team won.  Then I got my current Job.

I discovered that there are people out there crazy enough to spend over $100. in any economy- to view the football games of their alma mater.

I found there are people who will re-point their dish in order to receive the
signal to get the channel “their game” is on.

I found that grown men will cry if I can’t get their signal back or their picture back in time for “the game”

And that other men will become verbally abusive if I don’t apologize enough.

Or don’t show enough knowledge of their favorite sport.

(women tend to be meaner than men but they seem to like baseball better- in my 7+ year- nationwide sampling)

I have had people take me to task for not even knowing who was playing (and for caring even less)

I have had entire rooms full of people cheer when I was able to fix the problem before the game began.

I have had 30+ people boo me when I couldn’t get things working

I also think people are a lot ruder & meaner when they have a houseful of guests & no game to watch with them (Understandable- must be embarrassing)

I have had people insist I say I would root for their team & get rude when I tried to decline.

I have never never had a day such as today though. I think I’ve mentioned that the chat function I work with allows me to help up to 3 people- other agents- actual customers or a combination of the two. Today we all were on 3 chats all the time (back in July/August it was like that all day every day but they trained more people & we’re only at 2 chats once in a great while- the last time I had 3 chats at a time was when – ahem- College football season started)

And at least one of the chats I was on all day long was someone with football issues- fix it so I can see “the game” get a tech here today so I can see “the game” give me a credit because I’m going to miss “the game”And then there were the ubiquitous people signing off their chats with “go cards” or “go stealers” or is that steelers? I don’t know & I really really don’t want to!


2 thoughts on “Of All The Things I….

  1. I’m no football fan either. I did buy 2 square on some football gambling this this year though. I really needed the money. I made the hubby watch so he could tell me if I won (I didn’t) but even though I had money on it, I couldn’t tell you who was playing!!

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