Visits With the Past

In typical Ex fashion. His plans didn’t turn out quite like he’d hoped & so he was delayed by snow when he got into NC on the plane. He had to fix his new ex’s car too so didn’t arrive in my neck of the woods until 1:30 a.m. so needless to say we didn’t see him until Wednesday morning.

That was quite all right with me at least- the kids & I had a pancake breakfast- which I often do in the mornings on days when the kids & I are all home together. We did a little last minute straightening & then I said because it was very cold here that if he wasn’t at our house & hadn’t called by 11 we would go out for a drive to get warm.

He showed up about 15 minutes before I was ready to go on the drive. Brought the 4 year old who was very shy (not surprising – we haven’t seen any of them since April when they announced they were moving to Oregon that very day! ) We sat around the house & chatted awhile. Ms 12 showed him her all A’s & B’s report card from last marking period (Tomorrow- Friday- they come home again. She’s already prepared me for the idea that it might be all B’s this time. )

He was fairly pleasant. Didn’t make a big deal out of mr 9’s room which despite my best efforts & exhortations was not clean by any stretch of the imagination. Of course what little did look good in mr 9’s room was terrible about 15 minutes after they arrived due to mr 9 ripping it apart to find toys that were safe & fun for his 4 year old half brother.

foolsAfter the obligatory questions about grades & the Ex asking the kids what they wanted to do & them saying they didn’t know four or five times I remembered that they’d been getting wistful about going bowling again. So I reminded them of that & that is what we did. Ms 18 asked if she could come along & so we ended up taking 2 cars & Ex gave me $10. for gas because I was low & didn’t have much money for this whole jaunt.

The bowling was interesting. We were very surprised on arrival at how crowded the parking lot was & when we got inside ms 18’s first comment was ‘wow- I feel like I’m at work’ the first 35 lanes of the 40 lane bowling alley had elderly people bowling. I remarked it must be a mid week senior savings thing & ms 18 said that the sign outside stated that senior days were Tuesday & Thursday.

We got the 39th & 40th alleys & the Ex split us up so that my 3 kids 18- 12 & 9 were one team & He- I & his 4 year old were the other. Everyone was surprised to find that ms 12 was her father’s daughter when it came to bowling. She bowled 3 strikes – which is about what her out of practice dad did- the rest of us did well to knock anything down at all!

We had issues with the electronic scoreboard & they reset both games partway through so we ended up paying for 2 strings & bowling about 2 & 2/3 strings. Which made me realize what I’ve been doing all the years I have sucked at bowling!! I have almost never played more than 2 strings. I found that the second half of the second string (as in – after the abandoned game) I played much better. Actually got one strike & managed a couple of times to pick up the spare.

So it takes 2 games to get me warmed up apparently! At least I’ll know if I go bowling again. I didn’t take pictures because the place was rather dark & my new phone doesn’t have a flash so you’ll have to miss my Ex’s lovely face. After bowling the ex explained that his new ex handed him a bunch of clothes for their son in plastic grocery bags & that he needed a piece of luggage to bring the clothes back to Oregon with his son so he needed to get a piece of luggage.

We went to Goodwill where he found an acceptable piece while the kids all (even ms 18 who hates goodwill) waited in the car. I came in to look for a tv set to use in the interim between now & when I can (maybe) afford a nice tv again (probably January it looks like at this point) He took this more private opportunity to bitch about his new ex & how she’s not taking care of their son properly etc.

I was fairly understanding about it & tried to agree with him as much as my conscience would allow me to. – I understand his frustration – if what he says is true but I also in the back of my mind realize that he probably told her all kinds of terrible things about me while he was there & that he will probably go back to Oregon & tell the new ones terrible things about both the new ex & me too.

In the Goodwill parking lot we discussed the next move. Everyone had slept late & had late breakfasts- it being 4 then we decided it was time to have dinner. The little ones just said I don’t know when we asked them where they wanted to eat. Ms 18 wanted Pizza Hut but the ex wasn’t feeling that so we cambruinended up at our local standby- Macados.

Everyone had excellent food & though the service was slow the waitress was nice so that helped. The only uncomfortable issue was the Ex began bitching about the new ex again & he was talking about how he had a lawyer on retainer etc. I finally said ‘look- you’re making me rather worried- I just want to put this out in theh open- we’re ok – you & I about how things are with the kids right?’ He said not exactly & then said he wasn’t going to sic lawyers on men but that he really wanted the kids to visit him this summer.

I said I wasn’t ok with the whole summer & he immediately agreed he couldn’t afford to have 6 kids all summer (His 4 year old- the new baby & 2 of his new GF’s daughters + 9 & 12) I said I could see 2 weeks to a month maybe. We then dropped the subject- so hopefully that will work out ok.

After our early dinner I asked what his plan was next & he said he guessed back to my house & then he’d say his goodbyes & go see his mother for awhile. I asked about the buying Xmas presents he’d mentioned on the phone – he said he just wanted to know what they wanted for now. Not what I remember but whatever- I said I had to go to Walmart anyway becase we needed cat food & a couple of other things.

So he said they’d tag along. We picked up a couple of things & then on my way to get windsheild washer for my car we ended up in the heater department- I priced out the plastic for the windows which I intended to get tomorrow when I go grocery shopping & he picked them up & threw them in the shopping cart. Then he stopped at the heaters & with 18 & 12’s help picked out & purchased a new electric heater for their rooms upstairs- completely unasked but much appreciated!

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