Out of the Mouths of Babes 3

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.

When miss 17 was about 6 one night I was in the kitchen reading & waiting for dinner to cook. She came in – rummaged around in a drawer- pulls out a flashlight & leaves with it. About 10 seconds later I followed her to see what she was doing- I walked into the next room to find her shining the flashlight out the window – waving it off to the right. When I asked what she was doing she beckoned me over to the window & pointed out a light in the sky- visible between the tree branches above. She told me that she was pretty sure it was a spaceship & that it was heading right for us so she was trying to use the flashlight to signal it to go around the house to the right! After a long look at the sky I realized it was the planet Venus & explained to her why it looked so much brighter than the stars. The next day we went to the library for a book on the planets.

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When Miss 11 was just a baby she drove my grandmother nuts! She was a traveler in the worst way- crawling at 5 months & cruising at 6 & 1/2 months. She was caught scooting up the stairs around the age of 8 months -while I was in the bathroom- thinking she was lying on the rug in the living room placidly- she crawled over & climbed up. My grandmother’s room was at the top of the stairs & she heard Miss 11 on them & tiptoed out to the top of the stairs- she was afraid to make any noise & startle her for fear she’d fall- 11 didn’t mind though she saw my grandmother up there & cooed – happy to see who she’d been looking for & proceeded to climb the whole set of stairs. Needless to say dad came home with a gate that night.

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Mr 8 is the king of the crazy messes, I have walked into his room to find him in batman belt, fireman hat, cowboy boots & sans clothes- jumping from the bureau to the bed while singing ‘Voodoo’ by Godsmack loudly- which was what prompted me to go see what he was doing. When questioned as to exactly what was going on he just shrugged & said he was playing a new game.

Miss 17 has a ‘my book about me’ which she filled out at age 7, it’s Snoopy themed & includes such wincing commentary as: My favorite food is: ‘pikles, stak wiht A1 sase on it,’ If I invent a game it will be about cleaning up, the name of the game will be “help” This is how you play my game: you clean up your room. And, I feel very proud when: ‘My parents & their friends party an I wathch sister and Samanta’ 11 dug this book out while getting me the next picture album in the row while I was revamping the picture albums, we had a good chuckle about it & the next day showed it to 17 when she got up. She refused to even look at it & was horrified that we’d read it through.

Miss 11 has never been a patient child & she never had a problem expressing herself about her impatientice with us, old, slow people. When she was about 5 we were getting ready to go somewhere & she climbed into the car through the open window & sat in the drivers seat honking the horn & yelling ‘come on mom, get with it woman!!’ out the window (a phrase she learned from her dad) I was not amused – nor were the other residents of the trailer park.

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Mr 8 considers it great fun to do tricks like climbing up the door jams & jumping into the room, sliding through the dining room or kitchen on his stocking feet, riding the skateboard down the paved walkway right into my front door- I’m so glad it’s an older metal one, I can imagine what would happen if I had one of those new glass doors!  If the house survives his childhood it should stand forever.

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