Harsh Reality

This morning, when I got up after about 6 hours of (interrupted) Sleep, I thought to myself, maybe the need for 8-9 hours of sleep has left me, maybe I can stay up until 1230 & get up at 630 without repercussions. Think of all I could get done, reading, writing, picture organizing! It’ll be great!

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Tonight on the way home I found that I must have been running on adrenaline, I was having trouble keeping my eyes open. Now that I think about it, around 10 this morning I had the same problem, while sitting at my desk waiting for chats to come in. I had to keep getting up & walking back & forth to wake myself up.

Though at the time I just thought it was due to the lack of Sobe, which was because it was so cold this morning I didn’t want to stop & get one at the store so I didn’t break my $10. Thinking that I’d change the $5 I had in the dollar changer at work I felt like I could stay warm, then when I  got to work I found that the dollar changer was out of change! So I had to wait until break when I found someone who could change the $5.

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It was very weird being there before everyone I sit with- by 4 hours. It was weirder still walking out the door at 7pm when everyone else still has 4 hours to go. I was, however, really thrilled to see the sun. I haven’t seen the sun when I was walking out the door at work since last summer & For as long as I got to see it tonight the last time would have been in 2005.

When I called home at lunch 18 put the ex on the phone to explain that the $40 heating element for the dryer wasn’t the problem, well, actually he said that the element was pretty bad & probably needed replacing but replacing it didn’t resolve the problem. He said he thinks it is the wiring between the element & the power cord & told me he’s coming back next weekend to put a floor in for his Mother & so will test the wiring & replace if necessary.

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Daylight savings had a part in that, but still it was really nice, after many, many months of getting out of work at 11pm, to get out in daylight was really cool. I am a night owl but I like sunshine too, I have to admit. 18 drives me nuts with her insistence that rainy days are cozy & fun, I like sunshine to warm up the house & brighten it.

Not long after I arrived home & while 18 was re-dying her hair because she wants it teal not green,  the ex called. He’s putshing for a visit at his mother’s house this next weekend. He wants to pick them up on Friday night & take them to his moms & then bring them back Sunday on his way home from his moms place. I guess I’m going to let him do it since it will be supervised with his mother there. I also told him what legal aid said about out of state visits, that if he wants to do things like that we need to go to court & get a visitation order set up to keep it legal & aboveboard.

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He wasn’t too terrible, just said that he thinks his army career is likely to end sooner rather than later because of his back problems & that they don’t want to stay in NC & are thinking about coming here, which would mean more visitation & sharing of the kids. They’re old enough now that I can see my way to that. It might even give me more time to pursue other things.

What I might do, I don’t know, and I’m feeling a little weird about the idea of coming home Saturday night to an empty house (because you know & I know that if 18 & the BF aren’t responsible for 11 & 8 they will not stay home) It could be kind of fun actually. Especially if the ex’s child support has arrived, I could go over to Barnes & Noble after work & pick out a book or two! Oh the joy!

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