How irritated & annoyed I am.
I am sick of being thought of as old because I’m 38. That’s not old- average life expectancy is something like 74 nowadays & 38 is not far from halfway there- though in my family for a woman to die at 74 would be an early death. My grandmother was 88 & her mother was 94 or 95 so 74 would be young. I am not all that old- if I was 68 I could be considered old- maybe.
So why does everyone seem to think I’m old. For crying out loud I’m not a ma’am yet am I? Why do people refer to me as ‘Ma’am’ on the phone at work (though it is preferable to the ones who apparently think I’m an effeminate guy & say ‘sir’)
I’m old enough to know better & young enough to learn -as my friend K used to say- a little frightening coming from her though! She’s at least older than me- by 4 years- though we haven’t talked in nearly 18 years- the idea of her at 42 is a comfort to me!
Of course my kids think I’m old. I expect that- I hear it all the time both in serious & joking ways. Mom’s old- of course- I’m old enough to have given birth to them! I was 21 when 17 was born- (I’m glad I got out of my teens- my father always predicted I’d be a teen pregnancy story- because of all the books I read on the subject when I was 13 & 14- I read books on anorexia too & that didn’t take either) It’s when they have bizzare misconceptions of how old I am that I can’t take it- ‘did they have airplanes when you were a kid mom?’ that sort of thing irks me to no end. I suppose I don’t help their conceptions – with my tales of training a pterodactyl to fly me to my friends house either – they know I’m kidding! I think.
I can spend hours on a boring day at work plucking gray hairs out of my head- I’m accustomed to short ones near my face but recently I realized in my longer hair in back of my head there are gray hairs which are just as long as my red ones! Horrors- I’m still trying to decide between another bleach highlight or if I should just go over the whole thing with red hair dye- I know from much personal experience that the real red will barely be noticeable but will cover the gray (at least temporarily) where the bleach- I’ll have to try to hit the right spots or have 17 do it.
I feel old today- I am still uncomfortable from yesterday- I was sick at work- mostly the sort of cramps you get once a month- because I’m old though- I get them once every 8 to 10 weeks & they’re worse when there’s so much space in between. I gave up 2 hours before it was time to go home & left early to curl up with a hot bag of rice & moped & watched tv until just as late as if I’d stayed at work.
I remember being 7 or 8 & trying to smooth the wrinkles out of my mother’s face- her forehead was severely lined already- though she was 30 when I was born so that would make her about my age at that time- she is a smoker though & that ages your skin quicker they say – I know my forehead isn’t so wrinkled as I remember hers being back then.
This entire rant is brought to you by some young punk on the phone at work last night who- as he hung up the phone said to the other people in his house- “for an old lady she sure knew how to make the dvr work!”