Saturday night & Sunday

Saturday after putting dishes away & reading online for awhile I watched a couple of movies & went to bed too late again. This morning I had relinquished my control of the kitchen & just wanted my normal breakfast of soy protein milk. 8 & 11 had made their own muffins early & after a half-hearted attempt to get me to make something more for them 17 & her friends made bacon & eggs – Saturday I had made pancakes for 8 which was certainly enough if you ask me- which no one did of course.

Being broke now-(we’re only rich on payday around here baby!)  I knew we weren’t going anywhere- 17 & her friend had plans to go swimming – which had been postponed from the day before when it was quite cool & more than a little breezy- nice for sitting around too breezy for being in the water.

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So 11 – 8 & I made stuff with the clay we picked up. I think I’ve mentioned before we’re a little Halloween obsessed around here & I’ve just about convinced them that we should have- well not exactly a party but a haunted house tour through our living room & dining room to the garage where we’ll give away candy & have a few quick games like bobbing for apples etc. I want to make invitations for everyone in their classes. That’ll be 35 kids+ siblings- but it won’t be a party- just a stop by for a few minutes while you’re out trick or treating anyway sort of thing. I envision the table full of gross out body parts- jello brain molds & spaghetti guts etc- & one of us or 17’s friends in the corner with a cauldron of folded funny fortunes. 8 wants to be either a vampire or a mummy this year so we can have him popping out of something etc.

We’ll see though. If 17 is against it then it probably won’t happen. She’s so grouchy & mean that we’re all pretty much afraid of her…lol..& I can’t really do all that would need to be done around here to pull something like that off without her help.

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Once we were finished with using nearly all the clay we baked the things we’d made & made dinner- Which was an easy one- since we had so many extra people milling around I’d bought cold cuts & everyone made sub sandwiches – except for me – I hate cold cuts except roast beef (very rare- which you usually can’t get at the deli counter of Walmart) so I had grilled cheese sandwiches.

I spent a quiet evening at home with the little ones- while worrying about 17 & her friend being out at a ‘party’ which I found out half way through was not such a worry- when I text-ed her to get an eta & she said pretty soon because it was only 4 of them- the kid having the ‘party’s’ grandmother was home so they were just playing pool in the basement.

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Nothing like grandma walking around with her walker to put the damper on a party! …lol…They arrived home earlier than their midnight curfew easily- though I got distracted by the TV & then- once in bed- got involved in music on my mp3 player & didn’t actually go to sleep until almost 2 am (again!)

This is the problem with being off from work for 5 days in a row. I stay up too late at night & get up too late in the morning so that when I go back to work I’ll be cross & crabby for days (I am hoping my recent schedule change to noon to 11 pm will make the transition back to work a little easier- I did get up (relatively) early today. 17’s friends dad was supposed to come get her at 10 this morning & so I got up & dressed at 930. Just to be on the safe side.

Though the agreement was that he would not come to my door & I would not go outside to  greet him. (we have had a problem- just recently- in preparation for this visit – which I won’t go into details on right now- just suffice it to say that we parent differently & someone felt compelled to tell someone else how they felt about the others parenting- that wasn’t me doing the sharing btw-)

Dependable (opinionated) Dad didn’t show up until nearly an hour past the time he was supposed to be here- so we were kind of in limbo. 17 wanted to get back to doing whatever she’s doing up in her room & after 3 & 1/2 days with the friend was antsy- the friend was pretty much ready to go too & 11 & 8 were just trying to watch their TV shows. I got online & had breakfast & tried to ignore the drama- ‘this is the last time I’ll see you until next year- wah wah wah’ .

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On Saturday I got an email from the ex saying he’d located our phone # (he lost it- I’ve given it to him something like 10 times in the 2 & 1/2 years I’ve had the same #)  & was going to call. The physical reaction I have to seeing a 1 next to his file in my email is awful. My throat gets tight- I feel this column of ice fill my throat & travel down my spine & I can barely breathe for a few minutes.

I’ve opened emails from him which were full of verbal abuse & I’ve opened emails in which he was heavily critical of my raising of our kids (Who he’s seen on average of one time every 2 years for the past 7 years) I’ve read things which said he was having such a hard time with life (his new marriage- his time in Iraq- missing my kids) It’s never a good experience & I’m pretty glad that what he wrote on the first & today were just simple one line emails.

Now if I can keep my mouth shut on the phone.

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