My kids are used to the tax holiday way of life, we’ve always, even when I was married (maybe even more so then) had a good earned income credit which has gone for new clothes, ms 19’s birthday gifts, various & assorted stereo equipment my ex wanted, didn’t need, took when he left & has trashed since.

The kids expect there to be a couple of nice dinners out, new shoes, at least one new toy each & for me to fill the cupboards to bursting with extra non-perishable food.

I certainly picked the wrong year to receive raises that take me over the poverty level! No earned income credit & if I hadn’t paid so much in interest on my first & second mortgages I would have owed money.

So this year what little I did get back has to go to finish paying off the doctor for mr 9’s foot stitches back in December & my county property taxes for my car.  And this year I don’t even get a pretty sticker to show I paid my taxes & have a right to put my trash in the county dumpsters.

We get to pay $25 per car, in addtion to our taxes, as if we were receiving stickers but we’re not getting the stickers themselves, which has led me to wonder as I’m taking trash to the dumpsters, whether the cops are still patroling the dumpsters & if they can ask for your ID & then call the tax office while you wait, to make sure you paid your taxes & are legally able to dump in the dumpsters.

The tax refund came in yesterday & the kids fully expected to go out to dinner, but because I’m late in paying the county taxes, I don’t know what I owe exactly, so we had dinner at home & I got 12, 9 & myself M&Ms for dessert & bought ms 19 something she wanted too.

I’m afraid to tell them the bag of M&M’s may be their entire cut of this years tax refund!

I’m not really feeling it just now, ms 19 is not being a lot of fun right now & it’s stressing me out to unimaginable lengths. I’m trying to gear up for the transition to night shift too & as usual, before a big schedule change, it seems like it’s not going to work out & it will be a disaster (it always seems this way the last week before I actually change shifts) I always try to get them to let me keep my old schedule & raise hell with the kids about “once I’m on the new schedule you can’t do this, that or the other thing” Knowing that it goes with the territory doesn’t make it any eaiser to deal with though, maybe even a little more frustrating because this is something like my sixth large transition in schedule.  I don’t consider a change by 1-2 hours a big deal, changing from being at work at 11 in the morning to 7 in the morning, that’s a big difference, and this one is huge (being at work at 8 in the morning as opposed to being at work at 5 in the evening) While I know I chose it, I still get jittery, it’s not like I’m the only one changing 6 or 7 of my co-workers are too (they’re all changing because of poor assessment scores though) I won’t be completely alone with no one I know around me, but at the same time I don’t even know where I’ll be sitting next Sunday night when I start my new shift!

We’re all much more relaxed now that it’s warmer, even if it was 22 when I left for work this morning, as soon as the sun came up over the horizon, it jumped 4 degrees & had added 10 before I got out of the car at work (& I do drive North East in the morning to work, so obviously it was the sun’s doing)

Mr 9 & I planted tulip bulbs yesterday, which I had forgotten about last fall & left in a box on our porch all winter, I’m hoping that the winter in the dark box will approximate being buried underground & we’ll get to see these tulips’ colors this year, if not, there’s always next year.

I watched entirely too  many Law & Order SVU & Cold Case reruns Thursday & Friday because last night I dreamed I was in a Cold Case, I was the ghost wanting to try to help people figure out what happened to me, very weird.

One thing about changing back from working 6 days a week to working only 5, I felt totally out of the loop when I got back to work today after 2 totally relaxing days in the yard & on the couch.

I was back in the rush all too soon though, originally I was not at all unhappy to be there because my co-workers were telling me that they got sent home early both days I was off, so I was hoping that would happen today too.

No such luck though & although I was disappointed, I know I should be working to the end of my shift & then some every day I’m there, I did work past 4:30 but only by 2 minutes, if they offer to let people go home tomorrow, I’m still probably going to take them up on it!

At least I hope to do so early tonight! It’s been a week already & I still have to get through tomorrow before my weekend arrives Thursday & Friday.  On the good news front, I have managed to get almost an hour of overtime in this week without taking phone calls, not sure what I’m going to do next week though & I do have to do at least 2 or 2 & 1/2 hours a week.

Everything has changed so much, new things you have to say on the phone, new phone system, without a normal mute button, there’s a pause, I’m told, from when you hit mute until you’re actually on mute, victim of rapid, unwarned sneezes that I am, I will not like that very much at all. Got to do some OT though, it’s pretty sad, in light of the raises I’ve had in the last 18 months that I can’t make it on what I make in 80 hours (every other week paychecks for me – which I hate!)

I’m reading Merry Men by Carolyn Chute for the third time, I’ve yet to finish it, it’s sad, heavy reading, the first time I tried I had borrowed it from the library right around the time I started cosmetology school & I couldn’t get through it with the 8 hour day at school, being mom to ms 19, pregnant with ms 12 & a wife to the ex, I took it back & went back to re-reading things I knew well, because it takes less attention to re-read a well loved book, you already know how it’s going to come out.

The next time I remember thinking, I’ll get through it this time, I’m older, I’ll understand it better, and I did, but still time got away from me & it was a library loan yet again, so back it went before I was through and not without a few misgivings, but some releif too, because she writes unsparingly, she’s not telling pretty stories about damsels in distress or lucky fortune tellers & although I know these people, grew up with many of them & live among others of a slightly different breed now, they’re not always easy to think of.

So I picked it up for free through the paperback swap & after the Archer’s Tale, since I didn’t have & couldn’t afford the other two books in that series, I got this one down from the shelf, in general I don’t have too many books left on the shelves which I haven’t read yet, however paperback swap helps in that way, I posted a bunch of books last week & 3 have already been sent out to bring me more credits for more books.

I ordered a book at the same time I posted, but it hasn’t come yet, I just realized that now, odd since they’re usually quick in coming, people send out fast because they want the credits! I don’t blame them really it’s a great setup & there are so many books out there!

We’re all very happy that it has stopped snowing, even mr 9 who is normally the biggest fan of snow told me last night he’s through with it & would like it to be spring now.

A lot of his disinterest is after 2 days where it didn’t get over 25 the snow was just packed ice crystals & was no good for sledding or snowman making, although on day 1 he & ms 12 made a very interesting igloo & enjoyed themselves immensely.

I’m much relieved because I asked my boss to tell me if I wasn’t going to receive sick pay for the days I’ve missed in the past 2 weeks because I would need to work tomorrow & all day Friday (instead of the 5 hours I’m required to do) she said it was definite that I would be paid for the 3 days I missed.

She also said our raises were put off until April, but I’m so glad to be a) getting paid & b) not losing my job & having to go back to the phones (she was able to lump my absences together & call it a verbal warning) that I’m ok with that.

If I were smart I would do my taxes tomorrow, however, school is called off yet again tomorrow so I probably won’t have enough peace & quiet to get them done.

We have (some) water, as usual when it’s very cold (4 when I left for work this morning) the pipes freeze, the kitchen is back up & running but the bathroom is being stubborn, This afternoon, after work, I measured for the pipe insulation which I’ll need to purchase before next winter.

It is starting to dawn on me that changing to a 530 to 1 am schedule would be pretty hard on me, I don’t know who the supervisors are, but I do know that the majority of my co-workers would be much younger than me & have a lot less seniority, that’s not really a big deal, but it could be very strange in the dealing with people around me.

I tend to be a little out of it so to speak, when it comes to dealing with co-workers, if no one talks to me I’m content to pretty much talk to no one all day long, I’ve had supervisors & co-workers who thought it was ‘their duty’ to draw me out & get me to interact & I’ve had supervisors & co-workers who left me to myself, I much prefer the second group. (I also hate pot lucks)

Between my attendance record being ruined by the snow & my quality scores taking a dive to a frighteningly low record (it’s like I subconsciously knew I needed them to be as good as possible & then began systematically ruining them & sabotaging myself) (the last 3 haven’t even been at 3/4 of as good as they need to be, not just for this shift change but to maintain in my position.

What really annoys me about the quality assessments is that it’s not glaring huge stuff that’s taking me out, it’s nitpicky crap that I should be acing, as attested to by all the 100% assessments I have had in the last 4 months or so. (really though, out of 32 I’ve had 27 100’s, it’s not all that bad) I still expect to work nights for awhile after April begins though.

I forgot there was a holiday until I got home & found no mail in the mailbox. Although the schools I drive past on my way to work in the mornings were closed today I must have been pretty tired & not noticed (the 20mph flashers were running though & we all slowed down- I remember that part) My own kids had school today so it never occurred to me that some people didn’t.

Work was heavy but I didn’t think about it until after the fact. Just not a clue, since I have a DVR I rarely view tv commercials & until Friday I was listening to the Twilight series on book on CD so didn’t hear or pay attention to any radio commercials about president’s day sales there either.

Ah well it’s over now, I’m really wishing the warm weather last week had not been just a tease, both because I have dozens of little tiny croci (crocusses?) popping up & I just know this weather (25 degrees already at 5:30pm) isn’t good for them. I’m especially not looking forward to taking a shower which I know I need to do.

I’m still toying with the idea of making the blog I set up due to this one allegedly violating some terms of service which they can’t explain, my meme blog, for Thursday Thirteens, Friday Fill ins etc. I don’t know if it’s worth it though maintaining 1 blog is enough to keep me busy 2 would be a bit too much I think, plus it would probably cut down on the amount I post here.

Maybe I will have to start showcasing ms 19’s art in my header picture though, changing it occasionally although I really like this woman on the stormy ocean picture a lot, it fits my thoughts an awful lot of the time.

Hither & yon, back & forth I go, to work, home from work, back to work, it seems sometimes like I never ever leave work. Or that I’m always in the car going there or coming back. Last night at 8:15 ms 12 announced she needed a piece of posterboard, no one let me know that the package of sheets of posterboard I had in the bottom drawer of our secretary desk was used up so off to the store we went.

The nearest store has just recently changed their hours, I was a little worried but it turned out they used to be open until 11, now it’s 10, not an issue when it was barely 8:30 when we arrived. I decided to put some gas in the car because it would allow me to sleep 10 minutes longer this morning if I did it last night. So I sent ms 12 in the store to pay for the gas & get her posterboard. No posterboard was to be had at the store (or so she said- she doesn’t see well & she looks for things even worse than she sees- if you know what I mean) So off to the little grocery store, ms 12 did indeed know exactly where the posterboard was in that store & so we got a lovely little 20 mile round trip ridiculously late (for me at least- wow am I a stick in the mud) in the evening.

I was seriously annoyed because it was after 9 when we arrived home & I had to take a shower still. Then I got to look at my phone bill. Never a good idea before bed. Ms 19 had racked $17 in text messages & enough peak minutes to cause her to owe me $80 bucks !!! Ms 12 luckily had not done anything but call her friends after 7 (I think I forgot to mention last month she fell for a couple of those online ads which say enter your phone number & we’ll tell you your true love’s name & crap like that- to the tune of $45 bucks, so she’s still without an allowance.)

Work today was slow-ish, I was distracted because of some financial news I had last night, good news not bad, so it was a pleasant distraction & I was glad it was quiet enough that I was able to complete my bill paying list, once I was through with that though, I was bored.

As the day drew to a close though, things started happening all at once. Ms 19 was texting me to ask when I’d be there before I was even through with my work (I was stuck 15 minutes past normal time to go home helping someone which added to the chaotic effect) Chrissie texted to let me know that her daughter’s grandmother on her father’s side was probably not going to make it past tonight, since I’m friends with Sami’s dad too, I have to try to get to either the wake or the funeral, Thursday & Friday respectively.

Once I was out of work & actually driving toward ms 19 I had a text conversation with Chrissie & then with ms 19 as to where I was, she was not pleased about my lack of progress- although I was there to pick her up 53 minutes after I was through at work- which is pretty good- although still about 20 minutes later than “normal” (what ever that is)

19’s boss had given her a card with a check in it for her birthday so we had to go cash that, then we decided to get subs since neither of us was enthused about what ms 12 was supposed to be making for dinner so we stopped & got subs (good thing we did- it’s 7:30 now & 12’s dinner is still in the oven! She can be so slow sometimes!)

I suppose it could be worse, I could still have very young kids & have to come home & cook dinner after my day at work, it’s so funny how when I was younger & married (& a stay at home mom) I always had a nice, full, hot meal waiting for the ex when he came home from work & how by the last year of our lives together I was so not into it any longer. I still have next to no interest in cooking actual meals, oh pancakes or bread or a nice cake is ok once in awhile, if I’m really excited about some meal, like I’m obsessed with making a spinach quiche right now- I’ll cook. But on a daily basis?- yuck!

I’m so glad to have a full size keyboard again, I really missed the comma button the last couple of years too.

Having a free keyboard from a co-worker who won’t take anything in return (I can’t even bake him cookies or anything- he’s on a diet!) is frustrating though.

I am trying like mad to sit still here at the computer rather than go eat things- I’ve decided to try again not to eat too much at night as that is really when I have the most issues with overeating.

I’m also trying not to yell at the kids. Ms 12 is supposed to be assisting mr 9 in cleaning his room, but they’re fighting much more than they’re cleaning.

Ms 19 has company, so of course, she’s embarrassed by 12 & 9 fighting (they’re never quiet & the larger the grudge they’re holding against one another the louder they get) so she’s contributing to the chaos by hollering at them from upstairs.

All day I sit at work & wish I were at home enjoying the kids company & once I get here I yearn for peace & quiet & grown ups who; while they may shake their fists (or other digits) at computer screens, don’t freak out, stomp around or yell (much).

Not that work is exactly a great place to be. It’s official that we’ll be on 6 day weeks through the end of March now. Sad thing is early in the day it was slow & I determined, while working on my budget, that I would be much better off if I maintained a 45 hour week all the time.

I won’t though, once we’re not required to work an extra 5 hours when they say we have to I’ll go back to working the standard 2 extra hours, under protest, when I absolutely have to.

Still trying to remind myself: Working overtime is better than an unemployment line. Working overtime is better than an unemployment line. Just keep trying to repeat that to myself, if only I could believe it.

Not that I want to be unemployed at all, I don’t, I just wish I could work a normal 40 hour week & be paid enough to not really need overtime. I was there for awhile, but when I bought the house, that was the end of that situation. (Of course we needed a house- the trailer was horrible!)

Oh well. General Malaise as usual around here!

I am so glad school is in session today! It was really fun having mr 9 & ms 12 here yesterday- although I stayed away from the computer in an effort to keep the peace between the two of them- meaning that mr 9 wanted the computer & ms 12 wanted to watch her tv in her room (leaving the living room tv & my favorite gameboy advance game for me)  but as soon as each of them had what they wanted they started fighting & it ended up that mr 9 watched tv in ms 12’s room while ms 12 monopolized the computer all day.

I watched the new A&E show about George Washington which was really interesting & tried to get in to a bunch of Six Feet Under re-runs that one of the exclusively HD channels is running (I had DVR’d 14 or so of them & wanted to clear some up from the hard drive) unfortunately the tv station isn’t running them in any semblance of order. So there’s some from 3 or 4 different years & only 1 or 2 which are back to back in time frame. Not easy to watch at all I’m afraid.

The hardest thing  about having the kids home from school on a snow day (which wasn’t a snow day here – or even an ice day- although I think the north-eastern part of our county got considerable ice) is that they were restless & like to jump around on furniture etc. And it was a little embarrasing in that all those 6 feet unders which made no sense because I’d never seen any of them- put me to sleep (I’m sure it was also my body trying to catch up with my 4 hours of sleep Sunday night too) And mr 9 felt like he needed to wake me up to tell me I was snoring- so helpful he is!

In the evening mr 9 & I had fun reading a book he got from school which I had read when I was young (I had also given ms 12 a book with this story & others in it for Christmas a few years ago – when she had the teacher mr 9 has now- ms 12 said she showed the book to her teacher- apparently she liked it enough to get some copies for her classroom) I especially liked John Bellairs’ books because they were creepy & mystery laden. This book- The House With A Clock In It’s Walls also is the book which introduced me to Edward Gorey’s artwork.
Of course mr 9 has been raised on Gorey’s work so it was like finding an old friend in a new place for him.

Speaking of old friends in new places- ms 18 told me as I was logging on to the computer this morning that an old family friend had added her as a friend on myspace while we were chatting about this I checked & he’d added me too- it has been a very long time since we’ve heard from him. Didn’t know he’d married his daughter’s mom & apparently have another child too. They moved from VA to where they live now in 2001 ( I think it was) Very cool though.

Too cold to continue for now- I’m going to go watch last night’s episode of Fringe & see what I can make of more of those six feet unders- one or two more & I may just scrap the whole attempt to watch it- although people have been telling me for years that I’d love the show!

It has been a crazy weekend we had an old friend plus Chrissie & her daughter here over the past 3 nights (not exactly all at once) not to mention the normal troupe who visit ms 18 routinely of a week or weekend.

Sunday night was definitely the best of it when 6 of us at my house played a very loud game of Apples to Apples & had a great time. Mr 9 was fairly annoyed when I made him go to bed (I’m not sayin’ how late it was- but it was very late!) Then Chrissie’s daughter & ms 12 were sent off to bed- it was still another hour or so before I settled down to sleep- which was rough since I had to get up this morning.

At 5:30 to take ms 18 to work. Then back here to get Chrissie & her daughter & deliver Sami to school & Chrissie to work- she got to crawl back into bed- I got to go to work & suffer through a normal day with 4 hours of sleep! To make matters worseThey had me scheduled for training first thing this morning.

There’s nothing like facing a guy discussing something as unpleasant as price increases & nodding off a thousand times in 45 minutes. The only bright spot of the morning was finding out the day off I requested for Wednesday was approved so I’m guaranteed 2 & 1/2 days off this week (!) pretty pathetic- to be happy about that when I should always have 2 days off (in my book at least)

Then all day at work I was watching the storm coming towards VA on the weather maps – they were talking about it all during the news last night too. (yes I watched the news even with company last night)They keep predicting snow tonight & 1/4 of an inch of ice on top of that. I confirmed with my boss that with my current attendance situation I’m better off calling in for the whole day rather than coming in late if the roads are bad tomorrow.

So that means I may get a 3 day spell out of work (& it’s early enough in the year that I will get sick pay if I miss the day) what a weird world! I’m excited though. I counted it up today & other than Christmas week & the Saturday before last when I left after a half day I have worked all the mandatory overtime for 6 weeks. If the hoped for outcome happens & we finish these 5 hour overtime days at the end of February this 3 day ‘vacation’ (if it happens the snow/ice could be rain or it could go north of us) will break the whole mess up very nicely.